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The conditions for a fling were ideal. The time constraint — and being transparent about our expectations — changed the way I behaved, too. With seemingly no potential for a future together and nothing really at risk, I felt free to be my real self — something that is rare for me on early dates. Perhaps because of our carefree honesty, I began to fall for Jesse.
I had always thought of flings as short-term bouts of physical passion with little conversation and even less emotion. But when our barely hour romance came to a close, I was left with the giddiness of crushing on someone new accompanied with confusion as to why I felt the way I did about something that was supposed to be meaningless and superficial.
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My college friends could rattle off their casual one-night stands or flings that ended in ghosted texts, false expectations, or simply fizzled out. Jesse would text me out of the blue just to start a conversation or DM me about something I posted on Instagram. He seemed to view what we had as potentially more than just a casual three-day fling and shared my desire to see where it could go.
We even made plans to meet up again later that summer when I returned home.
And yet, without a lofty end goal in mind, it had worked for me. Have you started introducing each other to all of your closest friends? Sendler said that this is a telltale sign that the fling is ending and a relationship is beginning. But if you are being introduced to someone else's friends because the intention is to make them aware about who you're spending most of your spare time with — that's a sign that things are heading into a more serious direction.
When you're in a relationship, developing pet names for your significant other can be seen as sweet and cute.
In a casual fling, however, that may seem a little unusual and clingy. What it could also be though is a subtle sign that they are ready to turn your fling into something real. If you're calling your fling by a pet name, then that's a subtle sign that your fling is turning into something more serious," said Margena Carter, licensed psychotherapist and founder of Carter Care Therapeutic Services. As like the above, if your fling has gone from calling you a "friend" to something more, the days of having just a sexual relationship are on its way on the door, according to dating expert and vice president of Dating.
Pay attention to what they say and who exactly they are introducing you to. If they say to their friend for example, 'I want you to meet Sarah,' they want to be associated with you and have possibly mentioned you to that person prior to the introduction. What their friends say may or may not make an impact on what they chose to do next, but when they eagerly introduce you to people in their lives, you can bet that they want things to take a more serious turn.
If your sexual partner has randomly shifted their compliments to things that are a little more personal, it may be time to consider adding an official title to your situationship.
6 Signs Your Partner Sees You As A Fling & Nothing More, According To Experts
Look out for compliments that show the person is paying attention to your quirks and personality traits. If they are making these kinds of comments, they may want to turn the fling into the real thing. Having a conversation with a fling about the future will probably exclude you from the plans. Once things are starting to become a little more intimate though, Sullivan told INSIDER that you'll notice them including you in their future plans and vice versa. If your casual fling wants to make plans, they probably want and hope that you will stick around.
If you are willing to commit to an activity in advance, they will assume you are interested in sticking around as well. If plans consistently come to fruition, then you know your partner is in it for the long haul.
According to Carter, quick and non-personal calls from your casual fling will quickly become a thing of the past if they've decided that they want more from you than just sex. As communication increases, a natural pattern of frequency will develop and the conversations will become more personal. Instead you told me things I never would have guessed about you.
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Your secrets poured out and I indicated my gratitude for your openness by sharing my own. I felt like I was meeting you for the first time. Something fluttered in my stomach. Fluttered all the way up to my heart. It tightened, it beat fast. And suddenly, I recognized what was happening. I realized my growing affection for you.
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I willed it to die as fast as it began but with each fascinating word that came from your mouth the seeds of affection continued to thrive. You instinctively reached for my hand and I pulled away.
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While this sort of contact never mattered when I felt nothing for you, it can only lead me down dark paths of false hope now. I met your eyes and saw a flash of hurt in them. I dared not offer an explanation. You folded your arms across your chest and continued talking and I talked back and let you under my skin and all too soon, the sun was up.
Before our rendezvous were infrequent. Once every few weeks, sometimes a month would go by before we decided to get together. But then, just a few days later, you asked if I wanted to hang out again. I said yes. I wondered for an instant if the feeling was mutual but quickly pushed such musings out of my head.